Christmas time use to be my most loved time of year- the present buying, the decorating, the making and the food. oh the food. For my whole life, food was a big part of it. i was lucky to have a mum who is a wonderful cook so Christmas never let me down. Coming from a foodie family meant that there were plenty of mince pies, my aunties Xmas cake covered in tasty icing and a feast to feed us all, 3 times over. I loved it.
These days it is quite a different picture, sure I like buying gifts and decorating the tree but in doing so all simmers the increasing feeling of panic and dread. Being surrounded by large amounts of tasty food, Xmas parties and plans sends my heart into overdrive. Eating disorders HATE celebrations especially those which are based around food. It is not that I don't want to eat, but that I am so fearful of it- that makes this time of year, hell. "When will we eat? What are we going to eat? Who is preparing it? How will I compensate for that? That's too much, that's not enough, you can't have that, your not allowed that" goes around and around at about 100 km/per hour. It works up until really it is just one big screaming match in my head. It is not until early January that the Xmas panic begins to leave me for another year.
I hope for the day that Xmas is like it use to be- a magical dream full of love, fun and LOTS of tasty food......
Here is a link to some helpful tips I was once given to manage the holidays....http://www.cusu.cam.ac.uk/Eating%20Disorders%20Christmas%20Survival%20Guide.pdf
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