lots to do

I feel like I have been through many changes over the past few weeks. I have finished my degree, I have spent 5 nights in Sydney and my eating feels different. this is all positive. it is early days and it feels foreign but it feels better than it has. i am not following my plan so rigidly which means I can make some more choices about what "I feel like"- there were two places in particular in Sydney: David Jones food market and Chat Thai which watered my appetite. I said to mum that you could quite easily eat your way around them, trying lots of little goodies. it is now about experimenting and resisting the anorexic voices.... they are there but it is about choosing to listen to them or not, I guess. I am lucky to have my aunt and uncle's house to look after for a week and this feels like it gives me some time to maintain and challenge some of the changes I made while in Sydney.  When I was there I had- my first hot chocolate and juice in years, ate a dumpling, tried my first ever macaroon and shared a tiramisu with Mum. 

Finishing my degree feels like the end of something, like now is the time to start something new and fresh and that anorexia is getting in the way......it comes out and bites me but I have moments of it being annoying. I have things I want to do- write a book, get full time work, get my own place, build awareness about eating disorders and maybe even do my yoga teacher training...just a few ideas, oh and something to do with flowers too.  Lots to do!