this easter weekend has been pretty shitty really and the spirits are pretty low. i feel like i am on a rocking horse or in the middle of a tug of war game. one minute i want to just recover, now, right this minute and then eek the fear sets in again. i wish recovery was that simple, i really do. like a snap of the fingers or the chew of just one more chocolate. unfortunately much to my annoyance this is not the case. what i would give to just be 'recovered'. that is the thing about a mental illness, you can't just take an antibiotic pill and it be done with.
the more i learn about addiction, the more i can relate to some of the theories behind them. 1. they are not a choice an individual makes. 2. engaging in addictive behaviours suppresses emotions. 3. they can become a habit. 4. guilt is always involved and 5. breaking free is very hard.
i think until you have lived with the internal dialogue that goes with a addicting it is hard to explain fully.
anyway- aside from that a couple of great blogs full of nice things and bits and pieces:
http://smallacornsnz.blogspot.co.nz (an old favourite)
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