a real job...

today i was offered a job...a real, proper job. i will be working for the wairarapa pho (primary health care organisation) as a smokefree health promoter/coordinator. a massive step in life. yesterday i was on cloud nine after my interview and felt very positive about my future life. today though has been more frightening... the cloud has darkened a bit and the fear has snuck in. i know fear, anxiety and anticipation are all normal when change is about to occur, don't get me wrong.

 today i have felt like the energiser bunny and my thoughts have been running wild and i fear i will not cope has set in. that negative voice or nasty figure has reared its head and is telling me i am not good enough to get a job, i can't do it and that i will fail. you can't, you won't, your bad, you failure.....over and over again. the big thing is not to panic, not to freak but just to be and i'll be ok.

the team i will be working with are fantastic, supportive and fun. i am lucky, i need to remember that!