feeling very anxious and yucky today. my head and body really are not in sinc which is very confusing... Sarah told me my weight dropped again so for the past 5 weigh ins it has been dropping yet like today I feel overweight and that I most certainly don't need to be eating, especially eating to gain weight. i absolutely hate this feeling and find it so hard to think otherwise. i have written my morning pages, tried to remain positive (it is Dads birthday today) and have tried distraction. this is when it all feels too much and I start thinking about ways out. i just feel lost, angry and sad.
here is a task janie suggested i do, to help change my thinking:
i feel fat, repulsive, disgusting and unattractive =
you are not fat, in fact you are underweight and need extra food
i cant feel a way out of this and feel desperate =
the way out of this is eating and following your plan
i feel like i don't matter, i feel horrible and i feel sad =
you do matter, and you feel horrible and sad because you are trapped in the grips of anorexia. the way out of this is to EAT and FOLLOW your plan Sarah has given you.
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