oops and then i got angry...

I often think of chooks..(not my favourite animal) but often feel for them as being caged in a square nettled cage often is how I feel. You can see the outside but your not allowed out, and if you are then its only for a very short time before it is taken away. anorexia is my cage. studying all day, rattles my cage and then i need to flap my wings.... this is when the rage comes....

 My mood has been swing today from been rageful and wanting to break everything around. Sometimes I am unsure if it is easier to hurt myself or easier to throw something out the window or ruin something that is special to me. The more I think about it the more ideas come flooding in and can be so scary when rage hits as it as be so unpredictable. Rage comes when I feel trapped or out of control... but as soon as it comes it passes and then I can just sob and sob.

I am just so tired and need a break...........