a month has gone by....

The beautiful posie Mum brought me when I was in hospital. It had thyme in it.

My new pj pants with my stunning hospital gown I had to wear.

The flowers from the garden Mum brought down and I made up.

The giant cookie I had to eat in hospital....it was pretty dry. 

Lots has happened over the past month- CREDS, hospital, back to CREDS as a resident now back in as a day client. I am still here all the time but it is nice to be able to leave each night and sleep without being watched. It has been a very trying time and for a bit it was very bumpy in terms of my physical health. it has certainly made me sit up- being told if I wasn't in hospital that I would have died was scary, living on a heart monitor was scary and having someone watch me 24/7 was at time infuriating. But today I am feeling a little stronger but mentally it is hard, feeling the weight on go (there is an expectation to gain 1kg to 1.5kg a week). My biggest fear is leaving or going out and having people say "you look so well" "so healthy now". I know this needs to happen and it is a good thing but at the moment I don't want to hear, its too hard.