the past few days have been a bit of a roller coaster. my health hasn't been the best and i have been exhausted to say the least. today it was nice to have the day off work so i could just focus on eating- it is always uncomfortable and yucky but i know deep down it is what i have to do. each time you drop weight, your body struggles. 8 years on, i have done damage to my body which i often wonder if i will ever repair. it also makes me think about if i will ever be a wife and have my own baby. i walked through farmers today and found myself looking at the new baby clothes which were so white and so small. it leaves a little pit of sadness in my tummy each time i walk away. my body wouldn't be able to have a baby the way it is so if i want that, i need to improve my nutrition and my weight. i need to wake up my hormone which are asleep. i want my own family one day, i want my own home with my own things in it. i want to plant plants where I want to and live as an adult- no matter how frightening and massive this feels.
on another note i picked a big bowl of raspberries, blackberries and strawberries from the garden for pudding. the garden in the past week has just shot away with the rain and warmth, everything is early. lets hope there are some left for xmas!
the photos above are of the lovely flowers i got for my graduation.
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