on the contrary to what it may look like, i don't want to be like this. as the days and weeks tick by i realise that time is slipping away. i think one of the hardest things for me at the moment is keeping up my facade that everything is fine and i am ticking along. when people ask you how you are, you don't just launch in and tell them how you are feeling.
the two competing 'voices' that i live with make things hard to decipher what is true and what is not. sarah said to me yesterday that healthy people eat as that is normal but for me, healthy people don't need to eat. logically i can see this is incorrect....
i have a burn on my throat which is covered with a special plaster and i have sores around my mouth. i feel yucky and oily. the fact or need to eat more and eat things that are scary just seems so wrong. in my head my skin and body are a result of eating bad food but....i am not eating it...it is very confusing.
as i wake up today, i say to myself 'i must do better than yesterday'
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