strength does not come from physical capacity. it comes from an indomitable will. gandhi.
phew, it is another hot day here in the wairarapa and i have come inside to escape the heat. it is always hard to get comfortable when it is hot. i have been struggling the past month or so with how disconnected my mind and body are. my body wants to rest, sleep and often is sore yet my mind is the complete opposite. if i try to lie down or sit down, my mind just speeds up. it is a constant balancing act. although i never could (or would want to)....my mind feels like it could run a marathon and back again.
on friday night i started writing down little bits that maybe i may put into a book someday. i have lots of little pages of notes which i have collected over the past 8 years which really has followed my journey. i find it quite sobering, rewarding and thought provoking to read as some of my early work was when i was first ill and couldn't recognise i had a problem, a serious life threatening problem. it is very much a time that i have blocked out of my memory.... occasionally i get flashbacks about different events when i felt very small and didn't know if my body was going make another hour. on dark days when i feel like giving up or that nothing has changed and that this is my lot, it is hard to remember actually the journey i have taken has been very bumpy but slowly uphill. you climb abit then fall abit then climb some more, it is all part of the 'jounrey'. i think reflection is important and acknowledging how far you have come while also been able to grieve and think about the past.
i think this important for any journey x
check out 'im a recovery ninja' by sarah jones on pinterest.
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