my therapist gave me the name of a website which i have read and reread. at times it felt like i was reading my own story about recovery and anorexia. the dialogue is the same, the message are the same and the feelings are the same.

 A norexics carry on self-dialogue, however the topic of conversation deals exclusively with her worthlessness as a human being. The voices attack constantly convincing her she is most despicable and not fit to be loved or to exist. You are a pig, you are disgusting, you don't deserve to eat, you must suffer, you never do enough, you deserve nothing, you are stupid, you are ugly, you deserve to die, you are gross. these messages are messages i constantly hear and constantly are bombared with on a daily basis. when my reserves are low they are hard to ignore and fight.

 

Strange beliefs which make no sense: hunger is shameful, food is the enemy, gaining weight means failure, empty means happy, hunger is strength.

 

I was terrified not knowing what lie ahead for me, but I knew what lay behind, and I did not want to continue on that course.......recovery is a long jounrey which requires strength, skills and support. Crying and begging......Just as the voices of anorexia take time to mature and take hold, so does the healthy voice of recovery.

 

i really recommend having a look at this website as it is a clear and real description of what anorexia and its monster like grips is like to live with and to overcome. http://www.abandonedbeliefs.com.