a date

i have a date, i have a time and i have a plan. nervous, scared, anxious....? yes. bloody scared, bloody nervous but i know it is my last chance and i have to make it work. the depth of this and the pain of this living day after day is not maintainable. its now or never. i have to gain weight, i have to make big changes and i have to change the way i do things. 

so from next week, i am on a new road, it is going to be hard and scary, and sickening, anger making and lonely but after it i hope a new world will open, a world to new opportunities, new beginnings

and a new start....