my life seems to have revolved into one, every day pretty much the same. this game of waiting, i think is worse than the treatment. living on the edge of could it be today i get a call, should i call them and see is it close? it is like you move into a state of trance, motionless and emotionless. my body rattles with medication which keeps me going however because of this no fears will fall even if inside the little girl weeps. it is much easier to put on the face of being happy and a somewhat well person, than to crumple into bits. one foot in front of the next, repeat and repeat. hopefully, the day will come soon so I can rest and fight the ugly eyed monster with fangs and wings.
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